Playing the game

If a female ever says anything along the lines of “But what can mere women do that’s intelligent or noble” (Lysistrata, translated by Jeffery Henderson), there are two possibilities for this. One possibility is that the female truly does feel this way.

In this case, she needs counseling.

The other possibility is that the female wants something.
She may be fishing for compliments. If that’s the case, men, compliment her before she starts talking about how “horrible” she thinks she is. From my experience, this is the case most of the time. When I, as a female, say that I look horrible, I’m really saying “compliment me, you moron. This is easy. I’ve set it up for you. All you have to do is say ‘I think you’re beautiful.’ Is it really that hard?” I’m sure most females will agree: a girl dissing herself is really just a way of setting up an easy compliment.

She may want someone to do something for her, or possibly she may want something shiny or something covered in chocolate. A female will generally be going for this when she saying something like “I can’t do anything right.” It might be a bad day, and she just can’t concentrate to actually accomplish anything. Other times, she may just want help. In rare cases, the female will be cunning, manipulating people around her to do everything while she kicks back and enjoys herself. Hey, men do it all the time. Women actually have to work to be in that position.

Men, whatever you do, don’t point out that you’ve caught on to the game. It makes the female enraged (Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn…ring any bells?) and just makes you, the male, look like an ass, for lack of a better word.

See, when you point out the fact that the female simply wants something, you insinuate a few things. To the female, this means that she has failed and will not get what she wants. The female also feels as though you’re cheating like the kid back in elementary school who would move your battle ships after the game started. There are no written rules, but making it known that you’ve figured out women makes it look like a complete fool. A guy thinks he’s figured out girls? It’s more likely that we’ll become best friends with Hamas and that there will never be any wars on the planet starting…now.

Men, play along. You’ll make her happy. If she’s being a total jerk, figure out why before dumping her.

Again, sorry for the lack of mildly related pictures. stupid blogger...